Hanks & Eisler The Assertiveness Guide for Women

Last updated date: July 7, 2022

DWYM Score

8.4

Hanks & Eisler The Assertiveness Guide for Women

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We looked at the top Assertiveness Workbooks and dug through the reviews from some of the most popular review sites. Through this analysis, we've determined the best Assertiveness Workbook you should buy.

Update as July 7, 2022:
Checkout The Best Assertiveness Workbook for a detailed review of all the top assertiveness workbooks.

Overall Take

Because many women have trouble asserting themselves, this book uses mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy to help overcome anxiety. Based on attachment theory principles, it also covers communication styles and offers practical examples.


In our analysis of 16 expert reviews, the Hanks & Eisler The Assertiveness Guide for Women placed 2nd when we looked at the top 6 products in the category. For the full ranking, see below.

From The Manufacturer

Isn’t it time you took a stand? Many women struggle with assertiveness, but if you’re prone to anxiety and avoidance, it is especially difficult. Grounded in attachment theory, this essential guide will help you identify your thoughts and feelings, balance your emotions, communicate your needs, and set healthy boundaries to improve your life. When you’re assertive, you’re able to communicate your needs and wishes clearly while respecting yourself and anyone else involved in the interaction. But when you aren’t assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren’t being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways. People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances. Using strategies based in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), The Assertiveness Guide for Women can help you understand the attachment styles that keep you from asserting yourself. You’ll learn about the three communication stances—from the passive Doormat to the aggressive (or passive-aggressive) Sword to the assertive Lantern—and find practical examples that show you how to apply your new communication and emotional awareness skills in your own life. Rather than being caught in a cycle of rumination and regret when you’re unable to express yourself or even acknowledge your own needs, you’ll be ready to assert yourself and get what you want. Whether you’re anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, this book will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.

Expert Reviews

Expert Summarized Score

8.0
3 expert reviews

User Summarized Score

9.1
560 user reviews

What experts liked

This book really brought together many different principles - assertiveness, attachment theory, differentiation, effective communication, emotional intelligence and boundary setting - in an extremely useful and digestible way.
- Good Reads
This book is useful to any woman who desires to increase her assertiveness and is a good tool for clinicians to use when addressing issues of connection, gender, attachment, and assertiveness. This wonderful guide is highly recommended for anyone who wants to be more assertive.
- The New Social Worker
The book introduces strategies to help facilitate assertiveness, such as mindfulness, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It also documents different styles of communication (such as the passive doormat, aggressive, and passive-aggressive). By understanding your communication style, you can apply emotional awareness skills. The aim of the book is to prevent a cycle of regret about being unable to express yourself.
- Positive Psychology

What experts didn't like

While there is a tie to assertiveness with these, it’s not the main point, so the title is a bit misleading.
- Good Reads

An Overview On Assertiveness Workbooks

Assertiveness is the act of behaving confidently and boldly without aggression. Assertive people are able to stand up for themselves and their needs, set boundaries and communicate exactly what they want.

There are many benefits to being assertive. Acting this way fosters healthy communication between yourself and those you interact with, such as your family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Assertiveness also ensures that others don’t take unfair advantage of you or bully you into doing things you don’t want to do. Being able to be assertive can reduce personal stress because you work to create an environment in which you feel satisfied — not one where you feel overwhelmed, trampled on or dominated.

Assertiveness is a skill you can use in many different situations. For example, if a co-worker asks you to take on their work for a project when you already have too much on your plate, you can set boundaries calmly and explain why you can’t do their job for them. Similarly, if a neighbor wants you to shovel their driveway every time you shovel your own, you can maneuver the situation in a confident yet friendly manner.

If you have trouble being assertive at home, at work or with your friends and family, you’re not alone. There are many people who have difficulty with this skill — but luckily, it is something you can teach yourself to do.

An assertiveness workbook is ideal for those who find themselves in situations where they wish they were empowered to say what they want without unreasonably damaging relationships. As a self-help tool, an assertiveness workbook can help you learn this important skill, practice in a theoretical setting and then apply what you have learned to the real world.

The Assertiveness Workbook Buying Guide

  • When looking for self-help tools, it’s important to not fall for hyperbole. Many books and workbooks promise results within a short period of time or make guarantees that are unrealistic. For example, they may promise changed behavior with just a quick reading, when most self-help goals take time to realize. Instead of going with tools that offer fast fixes, choose ones that promise change that lasts. After all, you don’t want to be assertive for just one day — you want to learn the skill so you can use it throughout your life.
  • Some people prefer worksheets with lots of exercises while others learn better from reading examples and stories. Consider what is more helpful for you and seek out an assertiveness workbook that provides that kind of tool. You know how you learn best, so choose resources that support your learning style.
  • Reviews are a great way to learn whether an assertiveness workbook will work for your needs. Check out online reviews from multiple sources to find out what people think about the book, whether it made a difference in their lives and what stood out to them about the book’s methodology.
  • As you’re shopping for any self-help book, consider the qualifications of the authors, along with their specialties and experience in this particular field. It’s important to use tools and resources created by professionals who understand the nuances and challenges you may face as you work to improve your life.