Lisa M. Schab Cool, Calm, and Confident

Assertiveness is the act of behaving confidently and boldly without aggression. Assertive people are able to stand up for themselves and their needs, set boundaries and communicate exactly what they want.

There are many benefits to being assertive. Acting this way fosters healthy communication between yourself and those you interact with, such as your family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Assertiveness also ensures that others don’t take unfair advantage of you or bully you into doing things you don’t want to do. Being able to be assertive can reduce personal stress because you work to create an environment in which you feel satisfied — not one where you feel overwhelmed, trampled on or dominated.

Assertiveness is a skill you can use in many different situations. For example, if a co-worker asks you to take on their work for a project when you already have too much on your plate, you can set boundaries calmly and explain why you can’t do their job for them. Similarly, if a neighbor wants you to shovel their driveway every time you shovel your own, you can maneuver the situation in a confident yet friendly manner.

If you have trouble being assertive at home, at work or with your friends and family, you’re not alone. There are many people who have difficulty with this skill — but luckily, it is something you can teach yourself to do.

An assertiveness workbook is ideal for those who find themselves in situations where they wish they were empowered to say what they want without unreasonably damaging relationships. As a self-help tool, an assertiveness workbook can help you learn this important skill, practice in a theoretical setting and then apply what you have learned to the real world.

• When looking for self-help tools, it’s important to not fall for hyperbole. Many books and workbooks promise results within a short period of time or make guarantees that are unrealistic. For example, they may promise changed behavior with just a quick reading, when most self-help goals take time to realize. Instead of going with tools that offer fast fixes, choose ones that promise change that lasts. After all, you don’t want to be assertive for just one day — you want to learn the skill so you can use it throughout your life.
• Some people prefer worksheets with lots of exercises while others learn better from reading examples and stories. Consider what is more helpful for you and seek out an assertiveness workbook that provides that kind of tool. You know how you learn best, so choose resources that support your learning style.
• Reviews are a great way to learn whether an assertiveness workbook will work for your needs. Check out online reviews from multiple sources to find out what people think about the book, whether it made a difference in their lives and what stood out to them about the book’s methodology.
• As you’re shopping for any self-help book, consider the qualifications of the authors, along with their specialties and experience in this particular field. It’s important to use tools and resources created by professionals who understand the nuances and challenges you may face as you work to improve your life.