So you didn’t nab the New York Times travel job that pays a writer to spin around the globe for a year. Nor did you apply for that epic craft beer historian job the Smithsonian Museum posted. And it’s a good thing, darnit, because otherwise you might not be free to offer up your expert-level chicken nugget eating skills to a company in the United Kingdom.
That’s right. In this week’s edition of “dream job alert,” a European chain called B&M Bargains announced that it’s looking to hire a “Chicken Nugget Connoisseur.”
The rub? You’ll have to do more than cross the road; you’ll have to cross the Atlantic because the job is based in England.
Once B&M crowns its chicken nugget connoisseur, the lucky taste tester will get £25 (about $34.50 in U.S. dollars) to spend monthly on fresh and frozen food in the local B&M store. OK, it might not pay the bills per se, and this hints that the taste testing involves more than just nuggets, but … imagine adding “chicken nugget expert” to your resume. Stands out more than “proficient in Microsoft Word.”
Can we make a nomination? Because “Silicon Valley” actor Thomas Middleditch has a background in rapping about chicken nuggets, which he discussed during an appearance on Conan O’Brien’s show.
Admittedly, the phrasing in the posted job description is a tad odd and *cough* cannibalistic-sounding. Take for instance this line: “You’ll want to take a bite out of this as we’re looking for a tasty new individual, who’ll be worth their weight in … food.” Huh?
It goes on to say: “Just like a good steak, this opportunity is rare and shouldn’t be diced with.”
As for the relevant experience, the listing outlines a few possible scenarios that might hint you’re a good fit for the job. They include getting a 20-count box of nuggets at McDonald’s and not sharing them; being the first in the kitchen whenever someone announces there is “cake,” and going to an event or party because there is free food. (Side note: My dog has been training his entire life for this job).
To apply, you’ll need to use your happy little chicken fingers to type up a paragraph on why you deserve the opportunity and what relevant experience you can, uh, bring to the table.
And, hey, we’re no career coaches … but from one chicken nugget lover to another, are you prepared for the tough interview questions like “ranch or barbecue?”